Hard To The Core?

by Brian Kennedy

(first published in the March 2011 Finn Harps match programme)

Kudos to those Blues fans that travelled to Monaghan for our first away game of the season even if the result wasn’t what we wanted. Trips like that really separate the men from the boys (or the women from the girls not to be sexist), but what really does make a hard core fan? Here are a few questions below to test yourselves!

You are asked at short notice to travel to Finn Harps in a 5,000 mile (well ok it’s a bit shorter, but only just!) round trip for a Tuesday night game. Do you?

A) Kindly say “It’s not possible lads, Dancing on Ice is on at 7.”
B) Admit you’d love to go, but it’s midweek and you’ve got a date with a painted hussy down at the Dog & Whistle.
C) Cancel the candlelight dinner you’ve planned for that night, give the missus €10 and tell her to spoil herself whilst running out the door to the car at the same time.

Derry City away in the Cup is upon you. It’s a mouth-watering clash and the Brandywell is full to capacity. There’s 49 United fans travelling and you need to be that crucial 50th voice. Trouble is you’re broke. Do you?
A) Put the crazy idea out of your mind and go back to laughing at the pond life on Jeremy Kyle.
B) Reminisce about away days at the Brandywell and curse the ex-wife for bankrupting you.
C) Grab the balaclava and make a “withdrawal” from the nearest bank.                                                                                                

It’s Wembley for the Blues, and you’re off to watch the 2019 Champions League Final hoping Waterford can win the Cup for the third year running. The night before the game your Auntie Emma, who’s not long for this world, expresses a wish from her death bed to see Waterford play at Wembley before she pops her clogs. And you just know whose ticket she’s after… Do you?

A) Immediately give her the ticket, drive her to Wembley and explain what’s happening on the field as the woman is half blind.
B) Groan to yourself and eventually do the Good Samaritan bit by handing over the ticket and watch it on TV.
C) Photocopy the ticket, tell her to get the bus and say three Hail Marys as an 87 year old woman is arrested outside Wembley with a fake ticket in her hand.

Waterford are live on RTE, who have finally realised there is a thing called the First Division, but you are on night shift. Do you?

A) Say you cannot let your boss down and the €4.65 an hour is not to be sniffed at.
B) Admit you would love to watch it but instead set the Sky plus and hope that nobody tells you the final result before you go home.
C) Immediately pull a sickie, or tell the boss to shove his job, as watching United against Salthill Devon in a live League Cup game is obviously more important.

You’ve been offered an all expenses paid trip to Liverpool v Waterford in the UEFA Cup by your new girlfriend Cynthia. As you’re driven up by limo and take your seats in the Directors Box, Cynthia announces she’s so madly in love with you that she missed watching her beloved Shamrock Rovers play in their Premier game that afternoon. Do you?
A) Look a bit surprised at her admission but put her poor choice in football teams to the back of your mind as you’re living it up at Anfield.
B) Get annoyed with yourself that you hadn’t spotted who she supported after she kept making references to Milltown and Mick Leech.
C) Tear up the ticket, tell her you slept with her sister and find the nearest river to throw yourself in.

If you answered:
Mostly As – You’re an armchair supporter in love with Sky TV
Mostly Bs – You’re a fan, but you’re letting everyday things like work, women and life get in the way.
Mostly Cs – Are you sure your middle name isn’t the entire FAI Cup winning side of 1980?
Hard to the core my friend!