World Cup QuoteWordy

compiled by John Kehoe

(first published in the June 2010 Mervue United match programme)

With the World Cup well under way at this stage, the attention of the globe is focused on the beautiful game more intently than ever before. More column inches, more talking heads, more quotes! Here are a selection that have been inspired over the years by the greatest show on Earth.

1930: “One of my team mates centred the ball and I followed its path carefully, taking it on the volley with my right foot. Everyone was pleased but we didn’t all roll around on the ground – nobody realised that history was being made. A quick handshake and we got on with the game.” – Lucien Laurent of France, scorer of the first ever World Cup goal, against Mexico.

1934: Benito Mussolini’s thinly veiled threat to Admiral Vaccaro, head of the Italian federation, before their 1934 success: “Admiral, Italy must win the World Cup.” The Admiral replied: “Of course, Duce. That would be a wonderful achievement.” Mussolini clarified: “Admiral, I don’t think you understood me. Italy MUST win the World Cup.“

1938: “Win or die!” – Continuing the theme, the motivational telegram sent by Il Duce to the Italian team ahead of the 1938 World Cup final in Paris. The Azzuri duly beat Hungary 4-2, prompting the Magyars ‘keeper to point out “I may have let in four goals, but at least I saved their lives!”

1950: “Boy, I feel sorry for these ba***rds. How are they ever going to live down the fact we beat them?” – USA defender, and postman, Harry Keough after the defeat of England in the greatest ever upset in World Cup history, at Belo Horizonte.

1954: “TOOOOOR! TOOOOOR! TOOOOOR! TOOOOOR!” – German radio commentator Herbert Zimmermann’s legendary response to Helmut Rahn’s 84th minute winner against the overwhelming favourites Hungary in the “Miracle of Berne” final, which marked his country’s triumphant return to the world sporting stage.

1958: “Our plan is to equalise before they score.” – Captain Danny Blanchflower on Northern Ireland’s cunning strategy for the 1958 World Cup.

1962: “Good evening. The game you’re about to see is the most stupid, appalling, disgusting and disgraceful exhibition of football, possibly in the history of the game.” – The BBC’s David Coleman introduces coverage of Chile v Italy at the 1962 World Cup, a game that would become infamous as the ‘Battle of Santiago’.

1966: “It seemed a pity so much Argentinian talent is wasted. Our best football will come against the right type of opposition – a team who come to play football, and not act as animals.” – England boss Alf Ramsey with the words that many feel first ignited the simmering rivalry between the two countries, only exacerbated by the later war. For the record, England lead the foul count 33 – 19.

1970: “And the news from Guadalajara, where the temperature is 96 degrees, is that Falcao is warming up.” – Brian Moore inimitably states the obvious.

1970: “Before the match, I told myself that Pele was just flesh and bones like the rest of us. Later I realised I’d been wrong.” – Italian defender Tarcisio Burgnich on the task of marking the great man in the World Cup final.

1974: “This is supposed to make us world champions. World champions of what? Masturbation?” – Brazil defender Luiz Pereira commenting on his team’s ‘no wives and girlfriends’ policy in West Germany.

1978: “I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that if Videla comes in I’ll rub soap all over my balls and when he comes up to me I’ll shake his hand.” – Argentina defender Alberto Tarantini makes a bet with Daniel Passarella as the dressingroom is visited by hated military junta leader General Jorge Videla after the semi final. He won the bet.

1982: “The man they call ‘The Monster’!” – Jimmy Magee’s memorable description of Germany’s Horst Hrubesch, just before he scored the shootout penalty which knocked out France at the semi-final stage.

1986: “Thank God we’re playing them at football and not ice hockey.” – France goalkeeper Joel Bats on their World Cup group which contained USSR, Canada and Hungary.

1990: “Around Gazza and his young gang we can build a team to rule the world. Four years on, remember you read it first in the Sun!” – The Currant Bun predicting a New World Order after the tournament in Italy. Not only did England fail to qualify for USA ’94, but not one of the Italia ’90 squad ever made a World Cup finals tournament again.

1994: “I must tell you I do not like for me or my players to be called dogs.” – US coach, the Yugoslav Bora Milutinovic, gets the wrong end of the stick when asked if the underdog tag suited his team.

1994: “Our so-called world class defender is playing like a fat old tart!” – Dutch commentator Eddie Poelman on Ronald Koeman’s performance for Holland against Saudi Arabia.

1998: “I spent four years at Millwall so I’m sure that’s prepared me for whatever happens on Sunday.” – US keeper Kasey Keller looks forward to the Iran – Great Satan clash at France ’98. Iran won 2-1.

2002: “Only if there’s an outbreak of bubonic plague.” – Giovanni Trapattoni, when asked if he would select Paolo Di Canio for his Italy World Cup squad for Japan & South Korea.

2006: “I’ve got the passion but no idea of tactics – I’d be like a black Kevin Keegan.” – Ian Wright stakes his claim for the England job. In a classic “damned if you do” situation, they opt for Steve McLaren instead.

2006: “Kewell should have been yanked off the pitch at half time and put in a hot bath, a boiling hot bath.” – Eamonn Dunphy, slightly less than appreciative of Harry Kewell’s contribution to the Aussie cause in Germany.